10 October 2025
Let’s be real—retirement planning is already a heavy lift when you’re flying solo. Now toss in two people, two sets of dreams, two financial histories, and possibly two totally different ideas of what retirement looks like. Sound familiar?
The good news? With a little open dialogue, some smart money moves, and a shared vision, planning for retirement as a couple doesn’t have to feel like pulling teeth. In fact, it can bring you closer, both emotionally and financially.
Let’s break it all down.
When you're planning solo, you don’t have to negotiate your vision of the future. But in a relationship? It’s a team sport. Without alignment, one of you could be picturing a beach in Belize while the other’s dreaming of raising chickens on a quiet farm. (True story.)
The key is to talk. And not just once. You need frequent check-ins and a clear financial roadmap you both feel good about.
Ask yourselves:
- What does retirement look like for each of us?
- When do we want to retire?
- Where do we want to live?
- Will we both stop working at the same time?
- What kind of lifestyle do we want?
This conversation should be open, judgment-free, and ongoing. Think of it like planning a massive vacation—you wouldn’t just wing it, would you?
This isn’t wrong; it’s just life. What matters is figuring out how different timelines affect your joint finances.
Let’s say Partner A wants to retire at 60, but Partner B plans to keep working until 67. That seven-year gap could mean one of you needs to carry more expenses for a while, or that early withdrawals might be necessary.
That’s why it’s crucial to budget for different scenarios. Talk to a financial advisor if needed, and play with the numbers. You want to avoid surprises later.
Sit down and run through:
- Expected monthly expenses (housing, food, insurance)
- Discretionary spending (travel, hobbies, spoiling the grandkids)
- Emergency fund (because life happens)
- Healthcare costs (more on that later)
Now, multiply your monthly expenses by however many years you expect to be retired. Spoiler alert: it’s probably more than you think. People are living longer, and retiring earlier. It’s not crazy to plan for 25–30 years of retired living.
And hey, don’t forget inflation. What costs $100 today might cost $150 or more in 20 years.
If you're heading into retirement with separate assets, it's still essential to view your retirement plan as a joint effort. That means knowing:
- Where all the retirement funds are
- How much each person has saved
- Who's getting income from where
You don’t have to combine your 401(k)s and IRAs, but you should do some joint strategizing.
If you're still in your earning years, take advantage of:
- 401(k) or 403(b) contributions (especially if there's a match)
- IRA or Roth IRA contributions
- Health Savings Accounts (HSAs) for future medical expenses
You can double up your savings efforts and reduce your taxable income along the way. That’s a win-win. And catch-up contributions? Big YES if you're over 50!
You’ve got to think about:
- When each person should claim benefits
- Whether spousal benefits apply
- Survivor benefits (yep, it matters)
Waiting to claim Social Security can lead to higher monthly benefits. But if one person retires early and needs cash flow, claiming early might make sense.
This is another area where it pays (literally) to crunch the numbers and maybe consult a pro.
Make sure you plan for:
- Medicare premiums
- Supplemental insurance (like Medigap)
- Long-term care (because 70% of people age 65+ will need it)
- Out-of-pocket expenses
If one of you retires before Medicare eligibility (age 65), you’ll need a plan for that gap. COBRA? ACA marketplace? Something else?
Also, consider a Health Savings Account (HSA) while you're still working. It’s triple tax-advantaged, and you can use those funds tax-free for qualified medical expenses down the road.
Planning for that eventuality means:
- Ensuring adequate survivor benefits
- Avoiding lifestyle inflation too early in retirement
- Having wills, powers of attorney, and healthcare directives in order
Nobody likes to talk about this stuff, but your future selves will thank you.
Take a good look at:
- Mortgage balances
- Credit card debt
- Car loans
- Student loans (yes, some retirees still have them)
Tackle high-interest debt first, and try your best to enter retirement as debt-free as possible. That way, your retirement income goes toward living life—not paying banks.
So, think about multiple sources:
- Retirement accounts (401(k), IRA)
- Social Security
- Pensions (if you’re lucky enough to have one)
- Rental income
- Part-time work or consulting
- Dividends or annuities
The more diversified your streams, the less stress you have when markets dip.
Set an annual “money date” with your partner. Pour some wine, light a candle (or don’t), and talk about:
- How your savings are growing
- Whether your timeline has shifted
- Any big expenses coming up
- Market performance and reallocations
Stay flexible. Life rarely goes exactly as planned, but a strong partnership can weather the bumps in the road.
You go from being career-focused to lifestyle-focused. That shift can stir up all kinds of emotions—loss of identity, boredom, even regret.
Talk about these things too:
- How you’ll spend your days
- How much independence each person needs
- What activities will keep you both fulfilled
Have a shared purpose, but also nurture your individual interests. It’s like dancing—sometimes you move together, sometimes you spin solo.
But when it comes down to it, planning a future together is one of the most romantic things you can do. It’s like saying, “Hey, I’m not just thinking about today—I’m thinking about decades down the road, with you by my side.”
So grab a cup of coffee, sit down with your partner, and start talking. Your future selves will be so grateful you did.
all images in this post were generated using AI tools
Category:
Retirement PlanningAuthor:
Audrey Bellamy